A time to tell...

Endrit and I were talking the other day about when we are going to tell various people.  Obviously if you are reading this blog, you knew about it before even my parents.  I announced it on a private message board first to a couple of people that read this blog.

I knew that it was going to be a touchy subject for my parents.  I felt that I needed to tell them early on in the process.  I need support through this from someone in my life a lot.  My mom was less than thrilled at the "backwards" way I think and thought that I was doing this for vanity.  It took a lot of convincing to put a dent in that belief.  I wasn't going to tell the rest of my family, but at my brother's wedding, I told my sister in law who has an adopted sister.  I knew she would support me from the beginning.  She did.  It was a much needed thing for someone to support me from the get go.

I also told one of the people I student teach with.  She is also a student teacher.  Because she is very similar to me in many ways, I knew that she would understand.

On the other end of the spectrum is Endrit.  He wants to tell his parents about it when we come home with the kids.  I gave my arguments as to why they need to know earlier than that and he listened.  Because it would be easier for family in Albania to help us with the adoption process, we want to tell his parents before they hear it second hand from a cousin.  So, when we are approved to start adoption proceedings in Albania, we will tell his parents.  Honestly, I know why he doesn't want to tell his parents.  His dad is very opinionated and will not be happy with this news.  Endrit wants to make up the lie that we are infertile so he doesn't have the consequences of adopting without "justified need".  I told him that it could be a spiritual learning experience for his parents because of the spiritual way that we were lead to this road.

There are many things to think about when announcing things like this.  The reaction of the public is the least worrying thing.  It is more of how much do people really need to know.  Who really needs to know?  I went through my Facebook today thinking about this question and deleted about half of my "friends".  More pruning might be in the future for when it comes time to write it on there.  I am sure that we will announce on there when we announce to Endrit's parents so it is still some time away.

It is nice to find out who my real friends are.